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A Silent Retreat: If only my mind would shut the f%#k up

I’ve said it before: Traveling alone is not for everyone. And it’s not just the chores, planning, and decisions that fall on you. It’s also because you are stuck with yourself. And only yourself. You really have to like yourself!

I’ve begun thinking of this trip as a silent retreat, living with myself and my thoughts. But my mind is very, very loud! Oh, dang it. I think that is the point of being on a silent retreat, isn’t it? Something about ignoring the chatter or being a witnessing presence or something along those lines. It’s a good thing I have more time to work on that.

Single woman in a white van

I have tried to meet people and make conversation. But when others are camping as a group, and you are not, it’s awkward (and maybe creepy?) to go up to strangers and try to make small talk.

But the other day, a white van parked right next to mine. It was getting a little late, almost dark, and I already had a campfire going. I complimented the solo woman who emerged from the van on her parking job, backing into the spot (if you’ve ever seen me try to back into a parking spot, even in a regular car, you know it’s pretty ugly). She said thanks, and went around to the other side of the van and closed the door. I tried again later when she was walking by to make eye contact so that I could invite her to sit around the fire. But she ignored me, went in her van, and closed the door.

The next morning, we were both out trying to position our Starlinks. Oh, I thought, we have so much in common! Surely she’ll want to chat. But no. She positioned her Starlink, went in her van, and closed the door.

Then we were both back out there because we both lost our Starlink signals. I tried to chat with her about it. I asked whether she was “on the clock” for work. She said, “It’s just for meetings,” got in her van, and drove away!

Well, silent retreat it is, then!

And now, some pictures (click to enlarge).

Pelicans diving for their next meals.

Free camping on US Forest Service land by the Chetco River, near Brookings, OR

The gorgeous Oregon coast.

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