Un pequeño problema de los malentendidos culturales.

Oh my goodness, my hostess is such a wonderful cook. She can make a simple chicken salad taste delicious. Even spinach soup. Even flan.

But I think I would be holding back if I didn’t describe a small problem of miscommunication or misunderstanding. It really was no big deal, but it came at a time when I was feeling a bit more homesick than other days. At first, I was actually relieved, but later I felt just a little awkward about the whole thing. Voy a explicar.

Typically, people in Mexico eat their main meal of the day at 3:00. Even businesses close down between 2:00 and 4:00 so that people can go home for comida. Last week I had been having comida every day after school, at about 3:15, just with Lupita. (Her granddaughter was typically taking a nap then.) Saturday I was gone all day, so I missed comida. Then Sunday, Lupita’s daughter and son and daughter-in-law were all here. In the morning, I talked a little with the daughter and played with the granddaughter, and then Lupita asked if I would be back for comida, and I said I would. I went into town, saw a museum, read a little in a cafe, and came home. The main table in the dining room was all set for multiple people, and Lupita was busy cooking in the kitchen. Her daughter and a friend were talking at the kitchen table. I introduced myself to the friend, and then Lupita said, or I thought she said, that we would eat in a few minutes. So I went to my room, checked email, washed up, and went back into the house. Everyone was basically in the same position. They invited me to sit at the kitchen table, so I sat and listened a bit to the girls’ conversation, and then Lupita set a place for me at the kitchen table, took out a serving of food from the larger pan, served it to me, and invited me to eat by myself. I did. I thanked her and went back to my room. A little later, the family all ate their comida together at the large table, while I sat back in my room alone.

So, at first, I was a bit relieved because I knew my contribution to any conversation would be pathetic (and therefore a bit stressful). But as I thought about it, it seemed a little odd to me. All signs pointed to the family including me, but that’s not what happened. I’m not taking it personally — I’m really not! But if I use “what would Americans do” as a benchmark for cultural understanding, this seemed far from the mark. I can’t imagine an American family that has a foreign student studying English living with them and not inviting him or her to the family meal on Sunday. My Spanish is certainly good enough that she could have asked me if I preferred to eat with the family or not. But she definitely did not ask. And I would certainly have understood if they needed to have a family meeting, or family time. My Spanish is good enough that I could have understood that, if she had explained it. I later discussed it with Nicole who said that the family she is staying with always includes her in their family meals, in family outings, etc. She’s gone to the movies with them, gone to see sights with the daughters….

Anyway, not a big deal. But if the point is to engage in cross-cultural communications, of all kinds, I have to include this example, verdad?

Otras noticias: I took a salsa dance class last night (and served as the example for the male students of how to lead a female partner who doesn’t know what the hell she is doing — and I think that is an important role in a dance class!), and had una copa con Nicole, and skyped with the fam, and did my homework, and had a good day at school today. Now I am going to the huge mercado, donde todo está a la venta: carne, frutas, vegetales… toda. But just to look around. We always go to these huge markets in the towns we visit. And some students are meeting later at a hacienda-turned-restaurant-and-hotel… para una copa (my new favorite phrase: more literally “for a glass” but also “for a drink”).